I got an 10/10 from my english teacher for this... Very Very long, but sooooo funny
The Parchment
By Ben Campbell
“Take this to Grendel” Demanded the boy king, Deltia.
“But Grendel lives in Damascus! That’s 10 Miles away!” Replied Ritz, the ginger girl msn messenger.
“Well you should get going now then, shouldn’t you.” Deltia shouted
“Yes sir very good sir”
Chapter 1:
Ritz carried the parchment out of the palace and saddled his horse. Soon, a messenger came to deliver a message to Deltia.
His name was Figard, a strong and mighty cheesemonger.
“I ask to see Deltia, I have an important note for him.”
“who is it from?” asked Ritz curiously
“it is from Grendel itself, I don’t know what it is about but he has put the magic spell that only magic words can open.”
“I will take it to him if you take this piece of parchment to Grendel, it is just too far for me to walk.” Asked Ritz
“okay but make sure that gets to him.”
Chapter 2.
Ritz decided that now she could pretty much have the day off. So he decided to go to Sparks and Mencers. She got there and then he went inside. They wanted to buy a new toga, but she couldn’t find any. She bought the toga then went to toys R bus. She bought a bus.
Chapter 3.
Blah
Chapter 4.
Boy queen deltia was angry.
“me no have pizza, me wan pizza!!!”
Boy king deltia destroyed the whole of Jupiter and then the earth because he missed. He then went poopey.
Rits came home with a new bus and a toga. Man elf Deltia was not amused, so he destroyed Jupiter…AGAIN!!! He went poopey again. This in turn destroyed Jupiter…AGAIN AGAIN!!!!
Chapter 10
King Queen Deltia wasn’t happy with how the last 76 chapters turned out, so he burnt them, and thwen destroyued Jupiter. Rascist.
Ritz then remembered she had a letter, so she gave it to him
“half price sale now on at MFI!!!”
King horse Delita was happy.
BANG!!!
Woops there goes Jupiter
Anyway.
Chapter 11
Kikng shepheard deltia went to mfi and then he wasn’t happy because it wasn’t just half price, it was UP TO 70% OFF!!!
He cried, then he shot me
Blah!
He bought a toga from the sale then realised he didn’t want a toga so he went back and accidently bought another toga then he realised that he didn’t want a toga so he went back and accidently bought another toga then he realised that
he didn’t want a toga so he went back and accidently bought another toga then he realised thathe didn’t want a toga so he went back and accidently bought another toga then he realised thathe didn’t want a toga so he went back and accidently bought another toga then he realised that he needed a wee.
He went and bought a toga, then weed in it.
Then he went to buy a bed but couldn’t find any because he had too many togas.
Chapter 1
Omg wtf???
:O:O:O:O
Chapter 14
That’s better. Anyway.
Chapter 15.
The strange man who took a letter to grendal was found dead in a ditch after a major crash on the m25 arterial road from somewhere to another place. We are now assured everything is fine now after everything went bang a minute ago. BANG!
Everything is fine now..ha…
Chapter 17
Woops
Chapter 16
The letter got to the person, he was pleased to hear that the sale at dfs was on, but he already had 1000000000 sofas, so he only got 209848.
Chapter 18
The sofas had 100 years warranty!!!!
OKFG!!!!
(only kidding flooble grass)
HA!
OMFG u idiot ? Why did you do that? Argh!!!!
BANG
There goes Jupiter.
Chapter 20
Boy cheese deltia was wondering what he should do today with his new toga. So h decided to tell his friend in Damascus that there was now a sale aty B&Q. The king was spastic so he could read or write so it turned out that his poo was green.
Chapter 21
The girl shoe deltia was now fed up of changing gender and form, so what he did was go and find a duck. She found it, then ate it for her mouse.
Chapter 22
Ritz died because she had a massive poo infection which meant that his poo ate everything in the universe, this could only mean one thing!!!
SEXY PARTY!!!
So she had a sexy party and then went to the moon, this was fuin until everyone died.
Chapter 24
The last chapter was crap so everyone shot it with their cat launcher, named paul!!
Chapter 25
IThe story was drawing to a close, so king toilet deltia decided to go poopey again, but this time no1 died, except himself.
Chapter 26
Figard sent you a message, said the frog, so the dog piano deltia read the letter.
“hi”
Deltia wasn’t happy with this letter, as the font wasn’t right, he got really really really angry and then ate everyone except people who live in the universe, so the population of the world was eaten by me!!!
Chapter 27
God this story is long.
Chapter 28
Anyway after 30000 years electricity was invented so people could use the wheel, this meant that ritz could finnaly use her toga.
Chapter 29
Omg? This is 882 words up to now!!!
This is longer than my essay for English on frankenstien!!! LOLOLOL
Chapter 30
Frankenstein came along and then he got angry, this meant that they had another…
This made Frankenstein really happy so he went and bought a brand new face…
Chapter 31
Ritz realized it was all a dream so she went and did everything that had hapend in her dream so that it wasn’t a dream, then she woke up and everything happened again.
Chapter 32
The end
Not really, elfin nutcase deltia got really really really bad diarrhea so everyone flew off to Johto and kanto where they met ash ketchup and his bitch whore Misty. The everyone decided to kill them and then they put Pikachu in a tree and then he could get down because he was scared of togas.
Chapter 33
The story was now drawing to a close, everyone was bored of throwing togas at Pikachu so they decided to get a abazuka instead. King boy Deltia finaly got out of the toilet, and then Ritz was bored of her bus, so she bought a carrot to feed the bus.
Chapter 34
The end, or is it?
Cahpter 35
No it isn’t!! hahahahahahahahahahah
Chapter 36
The end
Chapter 37
Blah
Chapter 38
After all the false endings king Viagra deltia was really angry with me, so I decided to run really really far away, to where willy wonka was touching small children, this scared me, so I joined in.
Chapter 39
“Ritz, come here”
“yeeees maaaasteeerr”
“I want you to cut my toenails”
“YYYYEEEEESESSSESS MASTER!!”
So ritz cut the ducks ears then went to mfi and bought another bus. She got really angry then she decided to go to the toy shop, Boymaster.
This shop specialized in selling really bad items at high prices, so she bought half a kidney bean for the price of a space rocket. She was happy with her new investment until sher realized it was going to explode.
IT did, then everyone except everyone except her died. Ritz died but then he came back to life as a tramp, then he walked off a cliff into a bar.
OUCH!
Ha ha ha, I thought I would just included so humour in this book as its been really really un funny, so there you go..happy now??
Chapter 40
Oh, your not? Fine then, be a bitch…
Chapter 41…
Just kidding, I hate you really….
Chapter 42
King goose deltia was really upset that he didn’t have any7 play dough so he went to the place were u get play dough from (aka HELL!!!) he then went home and played with it but it got mixed up and then he accidently pood in it.
Chapter 43
If I had more time I would probably carry this on forever but I really cba-atm-tbh-btw-fyi-brb-tbqf-stfu-omfg-stfu-brb-lol
Chapter 44
Boy king deltia went into battle the next day, he got everything chooped off, including his nose and face, so he went to the body shop and bought a new set of everything, and it was organic too…he then decided to go to toys R bus and then he saw Figard…
“hey, I know you, you Figard, right?”
Yeah, how do you know?
I saw you on TV, on that show…worlds worst rapists?
Oh yeah that’s me, who are you?
Oh me, you can call me deltia
Oh cool, hi ted
My name isn’t ted, its deltia
Oh right sure it isn’t, what was your name again tina?
My name is deltia!!!
Oh right sorry tinkleberry
Shut up!!!
Blah
Ok then, just go eat a fish bomb
So after much confision it turned out that this story never happened, and it also turned out the poo isn’t really meant to be red…oh no…
TOTW/F/M Award(s): 3
Hillarious Homeowrk Story 
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