The girlfriend took up poker, I can't believe its true;
She started online yesterday
And I'm not sure what to do....

She's already cost us money,
She's a hundred dollars down;
She says its 'cause she's had no luck -
All I do is frown.

She thinks she's tight/aggressive,
I wish that she were passive -
Even with a nine and four
I see her raising massive!
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With every face card she must raise,
She says its 'cause they're "pretty"!
I just cringe and walk away
And sit and watch the footy.

She doesn't like the Ace of spades
'Cause its an "ugly" card;
I watched her muck it with a king
And almost hit her - HARD!

She says that it is "boring"
To be dealt a pocket pair;
I watched her folding bullets
And tore out half my hair!

In a hand against "SadRabbit"
She had him fully beat,
But she wouldn't "take advantage"
'Cause she thought his name was "sweet"!

If she holds the nuts she will not bet:
She thinks that its "unfair"!
And when re-raised she always calls
'Cause she's "got chips to spare"!

Now she's thinking of NO LIMIT!!
She thinks it might be fun!!!
- I'm going through my chest of drawers,
I'm looking for my gun!!

Downstairs and armed and dangerous,
Although it may be mean,
I take my aim and fire twice..........
And blow away the screen!!!